so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
