Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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