Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
