Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
