Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
