have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Alive.
So much puke
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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