she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
