What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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