You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
