the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
