Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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