hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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