she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
there was a trapeze. enough said
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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