mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
