I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
