fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
