you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize