God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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