it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
