Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
