the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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