I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
