he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
