dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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