he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
