What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
