Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
