Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
