I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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