Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We are all done wearing pants today
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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