Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
