Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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