this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
