Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize