in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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