OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
