we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
