woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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