She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
