Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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