It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
