I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
