Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
