Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She's the barista slut.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
