Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
