Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
