Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
