We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize