do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Houston, we have a blender
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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