Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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