And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
