you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
