I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize