Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
