He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
