It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
