Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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