We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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