We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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