Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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