and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
