I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I need to calm my uterus...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
