the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize