It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize