I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
