Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
