Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
