Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
